I had to miss morning services at church today, I was simply too sick. I find it a bit amazing how I manage to make it through without Yehsua (Jesus) day-to-day. The truth is that pharmaceutical treatment have been the focus of my life since I was properly diagnosed in 2011. Just so you know, I plan to go to church tonight, regardless of how I feel (unless I am actively vomiting). I find it makes a huge difference in my wellbeing.
What I have just recently discovered within my self is that all of my various medications have become a spiritual idol. Over the past year I have relied solely on my medications in hopes of finding relief from nausea. Nausea relief had become the whole of my life. For more days then I can remember I have LIVED in my recliner, rocking, reading and retching.
I know that there is nothing to be done about my prescription-usage. I know I have five choices in front of me. They are: continue as I have been for the last 20 months; get a feeding tube inserted; find a gasteroenterologist who will implant the nuerotransmitter to make my stomach work correctly; switch to a all-liquid diet (my wife wants me to do this), always liquid, never to eat solid food; or, return to Adonai (the Lord) with my whole, body and soul. My hope to both return to God, which I have already done. My hope is also for the nuerotransmitter placed on the outside of the stomach.
The truth is anytime we place anything earthly, including our own bodies, between ourselves and God we are placing an idol between us and the Holy Spirit. The more we become entrapped by our own lives, the farther away will be God; at least it will feel like that. Believe me, even as a active minister, I found my self moving farther and farther away from God. The one activity that I had was my archery. Shooting at my archery club, Royal Oak Archers, I have had the ability to lose my symptoms for a short-while while actively shooting.
My goal for 2013 is too not lose myself in my ailments. My goal is to keep Yeshua always first in my life. If these kind of issues have ever happened to you the please leave a comment and tell me about it.
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