I have had a rough eight months. I have lived my life sick since November 2011. What I have enjoyed is an eight month long stomach virus. And through this period of time I have received a insurmountable of well wishes and promises of prayer from across the globe. Thank you!
I realized the day I was diagnosed in the Emergency Room last week that I was going through a terrible time for a reason. James 1:12-18 really stood out for me,
12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
18 Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.
It is not God's fault for my being ill. These passages from Ya'akov (James) are explaining that God does not want bad things happening to us. God want us all free from sin. Verses 14 and 15 speak of how just a little bit of sin will grow and ferment until another sin emerges. I now have the understanding that the farther your proximity is from your church, then the greater chance of sinning may occur.
I will be honest...I am quite upset with myself for the way I responded to the digestive condition. Never, not once, did I ever blame God for my misfortune. I always knew it was my fault, our fault. But I retracted a bit more from my everyday life, each day becoming a hermit hiding in my home. No one likes living on the bathroom floor, no one.
It was last week when I was again taken to the Emergency Room for severe (really severe) pain, severe nausea, and for other disgusting symptoms. I knew the routine after all I have made a few trips to the ER, twice by ambulance. Yet, it was that night that the presence of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) once more sang in my heart. And from that one night of pain and illness a true and clear diagnosis came. I had a stomach that would not give up its food. Also, there are small sections of my intestines that no longer work. Yet, all I wanted was relief and that is what the doctor did. I am not speaking pain meds, though the Dilaudid was a making me wish for a laser light show. The doctor told me of a pill that if I can take with meals I should be good to go. And I was! I knew it was the Lord speaking to me, trying to return me to the church.
I had my faith restored! I now have my zeal prepared!
My pastor once told me that Satan will always attack you when you are preparing to evangelize. I believe I have been given a wonderful chance to reach the area by working with Inside the Box Fair Ministry to reach our area. I feel renewed to take part of this exciting "Summer of Evangelism".
Precious Adonai, I thank for each and every breath. I thank you for giving me a family to comfort me in dark and evil times. I praise you for the wonderful and joyous times to come. I also pray for a good friend of mine named Craig. Lord, I announced my calling to the ministry when Craig did. We have both worked hard, but it was always your plan to ordain Craig as a reverend. Please be with him and allow him to grow in Your spirit. In Yeshua's name. Amen
